It was a revelation of epic proportions when my first meditation instructor said to me, the body feels before you put words to it. I stared at him, momentarily speechless. The body… what? No. I don’t have sensations without words. Words come first. He (wisely) didn’t argue with me, just held his seat and let me struggle against the idea. But eventually I came around. Came around to believing that no, actually, words don’t come first. I actually do feel sensation before though

The last time I posted here, I said on Facebook that posting weekly was part of my self-compassion practice. Then I promptly skipped a week. (I love the universe’s sense of humour. It seems like as soon as you put something out there, it ups the ante: “Oh yeah? Prove it.”) So what happened? The short version: all the moving-driving-packing-unpacking finally caught up to me, and the wheels fell off. Slightly longer: I’d gotten a good start on something the day after I posted t

They knew death was coming. Eventually. Maybe even soon. But none of them knew Death well enough to know how soon, and so it took them by surprise. It took all of them by surprise when the doctor said, he may pass tonight. They all stared at her. What? Pass? What does that mean, “pass…” Oh. Oh. Wait, what? Now? Tonight? But how? No, that can’t be right. He was fine just yesterday. He rallied yesterday, he was sitting up, talking, laughing, making jokes, like his old self. He

I’ve struggled my entire adult life to Get Things Done. It’s not that I’m ever really idle, not really. Even when it looks like I’m doing nothing, I’m in fact a quivering brew of anxiety about things I should be doing right now, should have done, should do tomorrow — and there’s always something more to do. Am I the only one this happens to or does that sound familiar? I’ve tried probably every productivity system on the planet, paper and digital, at some point or another. As

“To thine own self be kind.” I mean REALLY TRULY kind. I mean radical kindness, real, radical self-compassion. The kind of kindness that lasts, that soaks into every aspect of your life, the kind you don’t leave behind when you come home after a retreat. Beyond random acts of kindness. Beyond bubble baths. Beyond massages, spa days, yoga retreats, whatever your budget allows you to do as a form of self-care or even the occasional self-indulgence. Beyond chocolate, binge watch

Don’t ask what you can do. They can’t tell you, because they don’t know. Don’t say, if there’s anything you need, just let me know. They don’t know what they need. They won’t call you. They’re too weary. Just go. Call ahead if you must, but go. Don’t ask them to choose a good time. There is no good time. Just go. Bring chocolate chip cookies, chicken soup, chili, or even a sponge cake. Comfort food. If they offer you tea and/or food, accept it. It gives them a moment of norma